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Day 1

So. Here I am. On the slow path. Taking in the sights. Being human. My first day on Alternate Earth. Well, my first day on any Earth, technically, having only been born today. Though I do remember being on a different Earth. Does that mean I have been to Earth? Or any other world for that matter? Anyway…

Today has been jam packed full of activities, and that is not including the Dalek invasion. That was an old life. Time to discuss the new. A new life with a new Doctor. The new new new Doctor. Yet as equally handsome as the old new new Doctor.

A train ride across Norway, a flight across Europe, a jeep ride to the Tyler mansion, meetings with Torchwood, UNIT, everyone wanted to talk to me. Everyone was well excited. Everyone except Rose.

We, myself and Rose, the only ‘we’ really, sit alone in her cavernous living room, drinking tea, made just the way I like it. We’ve barely spoken a word. Hands clutched together, fingers entwined, neither could be the first to let go. But she can not look at me. It’s because I remind her of him. I am him, I have to remind myself, and soon enough she will be reminded of that too. But right now, I can see every thought and emotion play across her face like a Shakespearean play. A battle is raging within her. I am the Doctor. She loves me. She has been given everything she could ever want. A Doctor who can grow old with her, who will stay with her, who can play happy families with her. But then there is 'The Guilt'. I am not the Doctor, not really. The Doctor is out there, in his Tardis. Alone. She once promised him forever. She spent years trying to get back to him. She wants to chase away the ghosts that haunt him. She wants to take care of him. He needs her, she thinks, and she abandoned him. But I need her. What else is there to say?


1.47am

She kissed me, gently on the cheek. Rose that is. It would only be Rose really. She is the only she in my mind that does not need to be introduced with a Proper noun. She, is everything. And I get a cheek kiss. The cheek!

“I’m going to bed.” She said. “Goodnight.”

And that’s me told. We are going to dance around each other a little longer it seems. Without any actual dancing.

I curl up sadly on the leather sofa, playing with the tassel of a mauve throw pillow. Mauve. Danger. I hug it to my chest and try not to think. Try not to close my eyes. I committed genocide today, and my own ghosts are coming to find me, rattle their chains, and drive me a little bit insane.

There are other bedrooms in this palace. Many many bedrooms, I am sure. I would be more comfortable there. Yet I just can not find my adventurers spirit. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Comments

( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
togetheragain21
Jul. 6th, 2008 10:49 am (UTC)
Wow, this is really goood and very sad at the same time.As much as I want to believe everything would be alright for them both it wouldn't be, of course it would take them sometime to adjust to each other because Rose would still be thinking of the other Doctor.This one may look like him,have the same memories and everything but his not him by a long chalk.Rose just has to learn to get past that if she wants to truly be happy.
clone_doctor
Jul. 6th, 2008 11:42 am (UTC)
I am him. I'm just a little bit more... rough.
necoras
Aug. 23rd, 2008 01:25 am (UTC)
Of course you're him, or what he could have become which is close enough not to matter. It's not the physiology that makes the Doctor the Doctor. The Master proved that. You are who you are because of your mind, which is still every bit that of a Time Lord.
ljg_fanfic
Jul. 12th, 2008 02:01 pm (UTC)
Dude, you need to give youself some time and space, eh? Cut yourself some slack; birth, genocide and forever with Rose Freaking Tyler is alot to process in one day.

*hugs*
yacoba
Jul. 12th, 2008 02:57 pm (UTC)
Brilliant! absolutely brilliant!

I really do tend to wonder how it would initially be between Rose and the Doctor, I like this theory, I can see it working just as well as an easy transition for them.
lady_morgana
Jul. 12th, 2008 03:42 pm (UTC)
If you're not happy in the end, then obviously it's not the end yet. I have faith. It'll get better.
(Deleted comment)
clone_doctor
Aug. 24th, 2008 10:06 am (UTC)
I was born out of the union of a hand and human... I doubt I have any past lives.
cassius335
Oct. 10th, 2008 06:42 pm (UTC)
And yet, from another point of view, you've had 10 of them.
tomobiki_yuu
Aug. 23rd, 2008 03:26 am (UTC)
time heals all wounds, and in a way you've all the time of the world now. you're a wonderful person, look at all the people you've met and helped over 900 years, and before you say it's him, it's you, and you're a wonderful person. cheers.
khiravent
Aug. 26th, 2008 04:05 am (UTC)
There is always an adjustment period. I'm sure with Rose at your side, you will find your spirit again. After all, with the mind of a Time Lord, there will always be that sense of wonder about the places and people around you. Just imagine this as an extensive study. When before have you been able to study so closely a single planet, have the capability to experience first-hand the intricacies of a culture, let alone a world?

A pleasure to meet you, sir.
moyas_starburst
Aug. 29th, 2008 02:44 pm (UTC)
Awww watch farscape series three, watch how Aeryn coped, and they lived happilly with a baby!
clone_doctor
Aug. 29th, 2008 04:31 pm (UTC)
Ah yes but that is fiction.
moyas_starburst
Aug. 30th, 2008 05:06 pm (UTC)
Talk about negativity! We can learn from fiction, if it is similar to our circumstances....
clone_doctor
Aug. 30th, 2008 11:01 pm (UTC)
There is no such thing as a happy ever after. It is a fallacy created to control the masses.
moyas_starburst
Aug. 31st, 2008 03:03 pm (UTC)
I'm surprised you survived this long with that kinda thinking! OMG get the prozac!
Seriously you need to STOP being such a mizo!

Life can have happy endings aswell as bad ones, it has both, it is what you do during the bad times that counts, and I blame Russell T Davis for writing some aspects of Dr Who.
cassius335
Oct. 10th, 2008 06:44 pm (UTC)
I agree. RTD seriously overdid the sacrifices.
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )